Drunk on Writing

Now that NaNoWriMo is over for the year, I find myself struggling to bide my free time. It reminds me of when I was planning my wedding over seven years ago: when it was finally over I was at a loss as to what to do. Granted, that marriage is no more (oh darn) but that feeling still resides with me. Here I am, no word goals and no writing that I feel has to be done. So what am I doing in my free time?

Writing.

It's like a bug. I've built up this momentum over 30 days and now I can't seem to slow down. I've been digging through started stories, checking word counts, and considering what the next move is. For now I am merely reading through them, adding and removing what I feel is necessary.

Another activity that is filling my time is the creation of Christmas gifts. Yay. I'm balancing on that fine line between "I hate Christmas" and "When is too soon to put up my Christmas tree?" I am known for my general dislike of this particular holiday but as soon as the calendar hits December I start to get the urges. The shopping urges. The decorating urges. The urge to listen to Christmas music in my car. I know from years past that there is no point in fighting the joy of the season but every year I attempt to.

So I thought I would bite the bullet and at least change the template of my blog to reflect the holiday season. I'm not sure exactly why I openly detest Christmas. I think it has something to do with the hustle and bustle and the stress of completing tasks by a certain date. I guess this year I feel like I'm Wrimo-ing all over again...instead of 50 000 words I have to prepare 50 000 gifts before December 25th. Thanks, NaNoWriMo, for positioning yourself in the month that perpetuates my stress for another 25 days.

I must say that Christmases since I left my husband have been wonderful. During our marriage Christmas involved countless visits to almost every single member of his family, resulting in a day full of scurrying about with zero relaxation. Now, it's simple. I wake up with my boyfriend, we do our Christmas thing, I go to my mother's (who is conveniently located one floor down in the same apartment building), my brother and his wife bring the kids over and I barely have to move a muscle. Maybe I land at someone's house for Christmas dinner, maybe I don't. Not a big deal. Even when my father lived in this province (he recently moved to Ottawa last month), we always got together on a day that was not the 25th. No rush, no hassle.

Maybe this year I'll try to chill the fuck out and enjoy the season. At least making Christmas gifts gives me something to do...and an excuse to not write. Which I can do now.

By the way, follow me on Twitter (@noirness) and watch as I tweet random shit and make attempts to communicate with celebrities. Fun!