Drunk on Writing

I’ve reached the part of my story where my two main characters kiss. And because this isn’t an insignificant peck on the lips I wanted to insure that I approached the description with care and grace. This is not my first literary kiss, but in the past it seems that my characters engage in passionate, fiery kisses that are somehow easier to describe than ones filled with longing and emotion. So I did what any writer like me would do – Google!

I came across some great articles of how to approach the written kiss and thought I would share some of the insight I learned. Links for these articles will be provided.

Let’s first look at the do’s and don’t’s of kiss-writing:

DON’T…

…call it a “kiss”. Try to find other words to describe what is going on but don’t constantly refer to it as a “kiss”. It’s a moment, a feeling, not necessarily the action occurring. I personally think it’s effective to introduce it as a kiss if you are intending an element of surprise. Writing, “His lips slowly approached hers,” sets us up for what is about to happen. Saying, “He kissed her,” then going into description hits us with initial surprise before we get all the juicy details.

…write a page and a half about the kiss. If the intent is to explore the emotional connection between characters, keep it short and sweet.

DO…

…try listening to music appropriate to the moment as you write your scene. If it’s a sweet, emotional kiss, look for something melodic. If the kiss is tragic or exciting, listen to something more dramatic.

…explore how the kiss affects each character individually. Is the kiss expected? Welcome? Unwanted? Think about how each character would react to the moment both physically and emotionally.

(WriteWorld – Pucker Up!)

Okay, that’s great, but HOW do you write it? By taking the entire experience and breaking it down into simple steps:

1. Mood.

Explore the setting without getting too involved in the details. Think of describing a romantic dinner; chances are you are not going to describe the entire meal, how it was arranged on the plate, how many chairs at the table, etc. You’re going to think about the atmosphere, the candlelight, the soft music, everything that sets the MOOD for romance. However, not all kisses are necessarily romantic. For example, if your characters are about to die in the middle of an epic battle and go in for a smooch, describe the tragedy surrounding them.

2. Proximity.

Closeness is usually necessary for a kiss to occur. And we all know that kisses typically involve lips touching. Go further. How are the characters’ bodies positioned? Are they locked in an embrace? Are they struggling against bonds to make contact? PROMIXITY is also useful in building suspense to the kiss. Writing how the characters approach each other is a strong tool in defining intent. Use body language to describe whether or not a character is expecting the kiss or planning it.

3. Observation.

So now that the characters are making the move, or inadvertently creating a potentially steamy moment, this is an opportunity to explore how they are feeling. Are there palms sweating? Did their mouth go dry? How’s their pulse? This is the moment that the characters realize that a kiss in going to happen. Simply put, it is the physiological and emotional response to that realization.

4. Kiss.

And then it happens. The mood was set, our characters get nice and close, their hearts beat ever so quickly as their lips approach, and then they do it.

5. Resolution.

Aaaaand, it’s over. Now what? You need to get your characters back into the game. The show must go on. There are a few techniques you can use to achieve this. Denial would have one character realizing that the kiss was a mistake and pushing away. An interruption would end the kiss abruptly. However you choose to do this just remember that the story will likely not end on a kiss. Move on.

(How to Write a Kissing Scene) 

So we know what to do and not to do…we know the steps to a kissing scene…now we need to know how to describe the kiss. What words do we use? Nothing bugs me more than cop out lines such as “He kissed her hard.” Did he? Did he really? Why did he kiss her hard? Was he mad? Was he passionate? Could he not judge the distance between their lips? Did he slip on a banana peel?

First you need to figure out which character's POV (point-of-view) you're going to describe. Remember, each character is an individual so each is going to experience the kiss differently. Next, think about the five senses: sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste. On a scrappy piece of paper write out these words and make notes for each one. Obviously you won't need to write out every single detail when you write the scene, but it'll give you a good starting point. Smell, for instance, may be relevant in some scenes but not others. Here's an example of how this may look for my female character:

• Sight: she closes her eyes
• Smell: they are in an old orphanage; must; old-attic smell; his hair; the smell of his shirt
• Hearing: the setting is quiet; their breath; her heartbeat; the squeaking of the bed they are lying on
• Touch: his hand in her hair; her hand on his face; his shirt - the material
• Taste: this one is kind of obvious, since it involves the mouth; how he tastes

Yay! I just did some leg-work for my own story. Sweet.

Now you need to think about the style of your story and the context of the kiss. Is this a moment of raunchy, passionate love? Or is it a sweet, tender moment? The words you use are important to describe the nature of the kiss. Physically descriptive words are better suited to something more gritty whereas vague wording is probably more appropriate to something more emotional. Par exemple:

• The statement: "He kissed her."
• Raunchicized: "He pushed his tongue into her mouth, forcing her lips apart. He explored every crevice and pushed himself onto every taste bud."
• Tenderized: "She couldn't help but part her lips as he gently pressed against her. The presence of his tongue was soft, comforting yet exhilarating."

I came across another example on the 2007 NaNoWriMo message board and had to share:

The problem with describing kissing or ****ing or anything else like that is that there is little in this world more boring than reading descriptions of what meaty parts rubbed up against what other meaty parts.
The other option is to describe it in absolutely metaphorical terms. This can be easier or harder depending on the point of view of the novel. Compare:
"his lips sent cascades of little shivers as they delicately flitted over hers." (Yawn, but standard fare for romance novels and soft-core erotic fiction.)
"They kissed, and a flurry of chocolate butterflies settled in her soul, made love, had babies, and flew on." (interesting, whimsical, much more colorful, and leaves the reader in the best place to decide what that really means.)

cloister
How Do I Describe Kissing?

Some may think me ridiculous for delving so deep into the mechanics of writing a kiss scene. Others may have been expecting more details on exactly what words to use when describing a kiss. People create in different ways. While some believe all an author needs is an idea, a pen and a piece of paper, I'm afraid I cannot conform to that standard. I have the idea, the pen, and the paper but I often require more tools in order to translate what goes on in my head of crazy into words. I hope this article helps in providing tools for writing a kiss, but is it up to you to find the words.